The Biggest Loser



23 kilos of tumor. On his face. And, if I'm not mistaken, some nasty little pimples around his t-zone.

RIP: Weekly World News

First Allo Police, now this. What's worse, these things always come in threes. Fox News: the bell tolls for thee.

Batgirl PSA

I kind of suspected that this wasn't Adam West. And I was right. It's Dick Gauthier. And that's why no one payed any attention to this and women never brought up the subject of equal pay again.

Mo's Bacon Bar

Although it will never replace my beloved bacon beer (remember Schlenkerla Rauchbier?), it seems the latest product to suck up to bacon is our old friend the chocolate bar. In the interest of whatever, I'm urging you all to run down to your local butcher and try Vosges Bacon Exotic Candy Bar.

On a sad note, it seems like we might be approaching the saturation point of bacon-flavoured/infused/fried/smoked products. Unless of course we can somehow get tobacco and cheese involved.

I Hate Blogging

But I love products, almost as much as you. Tuhday: Dog beer.



















Says the site: "Yes, it's beer! But, it's for dogs." Odd - I don't remember writing the copy for these people.

In short, no joy in the juice. What we got here is a rather healthy brew fortified with glucosamine, vitamin E and "all natural" beef drippings. Glorious.

Neither Kwispelbier (Dutch) nor Happy Tail Ale (American) have yet to produce my idea - Air Bud Light: for dogs how know how to take it easy. Of course, seeing how light beer is usually for pussies, marketing will have a bit of legwork.

Yeah, shut up. It's almost 2:00am and I'm writing something longer than a sentence on dog beer. I need a job.

Time Table

Created (but not yet produced) by designer Ross McBride. Sounds neato:

The glowing digit segments are made of electro-luminescent film, which accounts for the thinness of the structure (6cm). The electronics include an alarm, and a timer to switch the light off at night. Additionally, the light can be turned on, or off anytime without affecting the time.

Inspired me to create my very own "Excel Bedspreadsheet" (patent pending):

Don't just take your work home with you - go to bed with it!

How many should I put you down for?

I'm Back - But Why?

Mainly because I've discovered that the future belongs to Sam Elliott robots for some reason:

Okay, ya got me. The future actually belongs to Einstein robots for some reason.
(Via Nextfest).

Gotta Bugatti?

I’ve never driven so fast in my life. This speed is taking me into another dimension. It’s fantastic!
-- Speed Racer

Impoverished gearheads who aren't satisfied by watching poorly-dubbed 60s Japanimation can continue to remain unsatisfied by watching James May test drive the world's fastest production car on a test track in Germany.



The Bugatti Veyron. Top speed: 407.5 km/h. Pricetag: £840,000.

Reconsider Atheism

The 8-Bit Clip-On


Because 16-bit smacks of effort. Available at ThinkGeek.

Actionable Items: Inundate More Neighbours

Said the spam:

Inundate you neighbors with the amount of your sperm with Spermamax.

Imagine what could happen if the kings weren't able to father.

Now there wouldn't be anyone to rule the world.

And the civilization would have died many centuries ago.

Maybe they used herbs that are enclosed in Spermamax and thus had no problems with fertility function.

I did a little research - there's no "maybe" about it.

Life-size Cocoa Christ Overtakes Hostie As New Catholic Flavourite

He's naked. He's chocolate. And he just might be the tastiest Son of God ever! This Easter, Chocolate Jesus is... "My Sweet Lord". Coming this April to the Roger Smith Lab Gallery in Midtown Manhattan.